This week, Doc Love, author of ?The
System,? teaches a reader how to deal when he wants out of an open
relationship.
Reader?s Question
Hey Doc,I’m stuck in an open relationship.
Holly and I started dating a few months ago. We act like a
married couple, but we both have other partners
who we get romantic with. I want to be exclusive with Holly, but she says that she
can’t allow it because she could never provide me with what I want. She says she
would rather be
friends with me and not break my heart if we got into an exclusive relationship
because she cares too much about me as a person. Holly says that she is not attracted to me, but she calls me cute and never hesitates
to get romantic with me. We don’t kiss or sit next to each other or hold hands or
anything like that. We even go to other rooms when we call the other people we date. She
doesn’t let her friends know that she’s with me much of the time, but they
know who to call when they can’t find her. Since we spend a lot of time together, Holly leaves her things at my place. Her
friends tell her that I am one of the best guys she’s ever dated. What I can say
for her is that she takes care of me when I’m broke, feeling down or if I just want
someone to be there. I don’t interfere with the other guys she dates, but when I
tried dating two other women recently, she made sure to undermine the
relationships. Doc, what I need to know is whether
I’m dating someone who is confused, or if I have the foundation for a long-term
relationship with Holly. I’m tired of being called Holly’s boyfriend when
I’m not. I’ve fallen for this woman and can’t back off.
Lowell ? who feels like he’s starting to go
crazy
Doc Love?s Response
Hi Lowell, Straight out of the chute, when
you utter the words “open relationship,” I smell a big rat. What the heck do
you mean by an open relationship? Like
my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “An open relationship means
no relationship.” When you tell me
that you and Holly both get romantic with other people, you’re
verifying the fact you two are not having a monogamous relationship, which is
my specialty. Dude, if your relationship is not monogamous, then you and
Holly have a huge problem. Because like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says,
“If there are more than two of you involved in a romance, somebody is always going
to get jealous or bruised.” To you Psych majors, this type of situation is
dangerous and by definition invites someone mired in the mess to get jealous or hurt ?
which they have a right to be. When Holly told you
that she could never provide you with what you need, she was coming straight out and
saying that she couldn’t satisfy you and you refused to listen to
her.?Holly doesn’t care “too
much” about you as a person. You’re deluded here. It’s just the
opposite, pal: She cares too little about you. What she’s
telling you indirectly is that she has low
interest level in you. If she cared too much about you, she would be wildly in love
with you and all over you and you alone. And that’s definitely not the case here.
You’re mixing up “caring” with what happens in a romantic relationship.
Holly is just using Womanese to keep you happy.What will Doc Love advise?
Find out next?
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Source: http://www.excite4.com/2011/09/open-relationships-doc-love/
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