Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)
Marriage indeed is a very challenging situation to be in; unlike the boyfriend-girlfriend romantic relationship where everything is almost lovey-dovey, marriage is the perfect status quo where you discover many things from your spouse, and ironically, most of these things are not so likeable. While being in a new relationship makes you bring out the best in you, marriage rather makes you discover the worst in each other. ?Marriage isn?t easy.
And the failure to address these issues will most likely lead your marriage down the drain. These are the most common marriage problems that continually challenge the couples today:
The Why-Should-I-Trust-You-When-You-Don?t-Trust-Me Mentality
They say that the foundation to a good and sturdy relationship is trust. Others say you can?t love someone and not trust them at the same time. Little or the absence of trust among married couples is perhaps one of the recurring problems that define whether the relationship can withstand time or not.
When you don?t learn to trust your spouse, you put your intimacy on the line. When you don?t trust your spouse, you are likely to hold back the feelings that need to be expressed and emotions that need to be shown for the fear of getting hurt. Not trusting your spouse can give way to the development of other marital problems.
Unwillingness to Take Responsibility in Solving Marital Problems
One defence mechanism each person is good at is projection, blaming others for certain problems that they found themselves in. This is similarly true to married couples. One common marital problem is the failure to take responsibility for a problem. Couples start pointing each other?s flaws and mistakes; the persistence of this problem can give way to more serious marital problem which could lead to divorce.
The Need to Win in Every Marital Argument
When faced with an argument, most people always want to take the trophy be declared as winners, and this is applicable to couples in a marital problem. When married couples argue, they usually do the best they can to emerge winners in the argument, with the parting statement: ?I told you so?.
However, what most married couples forget is that when they decided to get hitched, they are already forming a team of one. Which means that they are a single team with two players; furthermore, the success and failure of one is the success and failure of the other. So what?s with trying to win every time when you are actually playing as one?
The Inability to Let Go of Anger
Anger, in moderation is a healthy emotional response; it gives you awareness that you got hurt and you?re not OK with that. But if you hold onto it for a longer than usual period of time, that?s a different story. Anger is supposedly an initial reaction and keeping it longer can do enormous damages on relationships, especially to your marriage.
In most marital relationships, it is inevitable that spouses may emotionally cause hurt to each other. Ideally, the couple needs to address the present issue, and decide together to let go, forgive and move on. However, some spouses tend to hold onto anger so much and they even feed them with other negative thoughts.
When anger issues are not resolved in marriage, this could lead to harbouring negative and ill feelings toward each other which correspondingly radiates and affects the entire relationship, household and children.
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