So you?ve found yourself single and venturing into the world of online dating. You know what you want people to know about you and you want to be as honest as possible so you don?t misrepresent yourself. We want to help you put your best foot forward and make a good impression without compromising your integrity, but finding the right words can be tricky, so we have some tips for ?what not to do? when creating your online dating profile. Please remember, even though online dating helps you bring in and weed out potential suitors, you?re still going to have to ?date? to find out if you are truly?compatible. So let?s get to it?
1. You have to remember that anything you write has no inflection. If your audience doesn?t know you, your sense of humor or your typical vocal intonations, you have to use language that will not turn people off, but that doesn?t mean you should misrepresent your personality. For example, if you are a direct person you can still be direct, but you need to choose your words so you don?t come across as rude or arrogant.
2. Don?t give lists. When you list the qualities and attributes that you like and dislike you can come across as abrasive and unyielding. Essentially, potential candidates will see your list and may feel as though you are rigid, which is not exactly a turn-on. On the other hand, if you really are rigid and unyielding, this might not be a bad thing.
3. It?s not just about you. Essentially you are screening potential dating candidates, but remember, they are screening you as well. How do you want to come across? Even if you?re a straight shooter, you still want them to see you?re best qualities. You want them to know that you?re open to their likes and dislikes and you accept them for their unique attributes.
4. Don?t get into the personal/intimate details. Online dating profiles are a screening tool and not the place to be too personal. It doesn?t give you very much credibility if you explain in your profile what kind of boxer briefs you like men to wear or what size bra you prefer. Honestly, it?s kind of creepy.
5. Don?t use all capitals. All capitals tells how serious you are, but they also imply that you?re not willing to compromise and everyone knows that compromise is something that every relationship needs. Again, this isn?t only about you.
6. Try not to get lost in the minutia of your likes and dislikes. You could be missing out on ?the one? by putting too many stipulations on tiny details of their physical appearance or hobbies. Obviously like will attract like, but nobody is ?perfect? and usually the ones who you find to be perfect in one way won?t be in another, so, try not to?ostracize?people just because they like doing something that you don?t or maybe they have one physical attribute that you consider a ?flaw.? Think about how you would feel if you read someone?s very specific list of likes and dislikes and started rating yourself against it, what kind of impression would you have of that person?
7. No double standards. If you ?require? someone to meet certain criteria you had better be able to meet that exact requirement to the standard you would hold them.
8. Don?t treat your dates as an interview. Even though you are looking for that special someone they are not there to be judged or rated by you. They are there to meet you, talk to you, get to know you, not be sized up and graded. If you are doing this you need to take a look at your dating priorities.
Most of all, have fun! Dating is the experience of meeting new people, maybe they won?t be ?the one? or maybe they will, but just think about all the people you will meet and the new friends you can make. The more you look at dating as a chore the more it will seem as though you are wasting time and that will come across to your date. Your time is precious and so is theirs, make the best of this experience!
Need more relationship tips and advice? Recipes for Relationships? ? A Couple?s Workbook is your resource.
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